When You Think
by faithfully yours forever
Summary: Derrick and Massie feel that they can never be. Will they realize just how much they need each other? Songfic to Taylor Swift's Tim McGraw. MASSINGTON. Massie-centric. Oneshot. Read and ENJOY.


**Hello everyone, this was the first fanfic that I wrote for my English assignment this year. (For those of you who don't know, my English teacher made it an assignment that we had to write 20 fanfics by the end of the year. See my profile for more info.) I'll post the other ones up later. I'm too busy to do it just yet, but hope you enjoy it. Yes, it's a songfic (a lot of my fanfics are).**

**Anyways, I don't own anything, not the songs, nor the characters. But some things to note: first, this occurs after eighth grade just let out for summer, and Massie's mom just died, and Massie is moving to California. It follows what actually happened in the Clique series, I don't like changing stories much, I just like adding my own spin onto it. So, yes, Derrick broke up with Massie. However, I changed three things. One - **_**the Pretty Committee did NOT "make up" or get back together**_**. I know you all want to kill me now, but for this songfic, it just made sense. Also, I just had to make Massie's mom die. Sorry, but it just worked. Anyways, enjoy.**

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**When You Think...**

_You said the way my blue eyes shined,  
Put those Georgia stars to shame that night  
I said: "That's a lie"_

She dropped the clothes she was packing when she saw it. It was slightly crumpled. It was slightly faded. But more importantly, it was a picture of her and Derrick Harrington kissing in Lake Placid a year and four months ago. Massie Block stared at her 7th grade self and the guy she was in love with, until the colors began to blur together through her tears. _Why am I crying_, she asked herself? _Why do I still care bout him? _But deep in her heart, Massie Block knew why she still loved Derrick Harrington.

_Just a boy in a Chevy truck,  
That had a tendency of getting' stuck,  
On backroads at night  
An' I was right there beside him all summer long  
An'' then the time we woke up to find that summer'd gone_

He was so sweet and cute. He was popular and athletic. He was perfect. And he had chosen me. Not the beautiful Alicia. Not the sweet and adorable Claire. Not the perfectly smart and athletic Kristen. Not the outgoing, loud, and proud Dylan. _Me. _Massie Allison Block. He chose me to be his, above all those other girls. To this day, I wonder why. Why did he ever fall in love with me? I wasn't smart. I wasn't beautiful. I wasn't athletic. I wasn't nice. I wasn't comfortable enough with myself. But he still chose me. But in my own selfishness and naivety, I pushed him away. I pushed the guy I loved away from me. One moment I was flirting with him, having fun, and the next moment he was gone. All because of me. So I forget about my makeup and let the tears run, just like how I had let him run away.

_But when you think: Tim McGraw,  
I hope you think my favorite song  
The one we danced to all night long:  
The moon like a spotlight on the lake  
When you think happiness,  
I hope you think: "That little black dress"  
Think of my head on your chest,  
An' my old faded blue jeans  
When you think Tim McGraw,  
I hope you think of me_

If anyone had looked into Massie Block's bedroom, they would have thought that Massie was crying because of her mother's death. But no one would suspect that the tears were running down her rosy cheeks were due to the day that Derrick Harrington broke up with her. Massie remembered the day clearly. She remembered his face, his actions, his words. And she knew him well enough to know he was serious. She should have understood, she should have just accepted it. Maybe then they'd still be friends to this day. But of course, she just had to come out as the winner. She just had to fight to prove herself. And had always been Massie's weakness, her flaw. She couldn't stand the idea of defeat, of losing, of being second best. She had to please everyone. And she ended up losing the one person who she wanted in her life. And now, he was far away, dating people who were perfect for him. But Massie had always thought that she was never enough for Derrick. She truly believed that she wasn't beautiful like Alicia; she wasn't smart or athletic like Kristen; she wasn't sweet like Claire; she wasn't confident in myself like Dylan. She truly thought that she was and still is a monster. A monster that destroys friendships. A monster that tears people down. A monster that is insecure. A monster that chooses to hide and run away. A monster who still hoped that Derrick James Harrington still loved her; still thought of her.

_September saw a month of tears,  
An' thankin' God that you weren't here,  
To see me like that  
But in a box beneath my bed,  
Is a letter that you never read,  
From three summers back  
It's hard not to find it all a little bitter sweet,  
An' lookin' back on all of that, it's nice to believe:_

I had cried herself so many times to sleep after he left. I had wished so many times that I was the one still in his arms. The one who he gave his soccer team sweatshirt too. The one he kissed with his gentle and sweet kisses. But it's all useless. He loves Dylan. He never looks at me. He never calls, or texts, or IMs me. And he never gave me presents like he does with Dylan. _It's pointless, Mass_, I thought over and over again, my tears spilling onto my rug. I was shaking, shivering from my past. And this scared me. It scared me to love a guy who thought you were just a piece of shit. So I did what I always do whenever I was scared – I wrote. I took my favorite purple pen and poured my heart out onto that paper. I wrote my heart out to Derrick James Harrington.

_When you think: Tim McGraw,  
I hope you think my favorite song  
The one we danced to all night long:  
The moon like a spotlight on the lake  
When you think happiness,  
I hope you think: "That little black dress"  
Think of my head on your chest,  
An' my old faded blue jeans  
When you think Tim McGraw,  
I hope you think of me_

If someone were to look into Massie Block's bedroom, they would find the petite brunette writing in her loopy handwriting and crying her heart out. Crying for a guy, who she had pushed away. Crying like a baby, much unlike the girl she was a year ago. Much unlike the alpha she had always wanted to be. But at the moment, she didn't care. She just wrote and wrote. And as she wrote, she felt herself lost in memories. Memories of her and him riding down the street, memories of her giving him her 'M' pin, memories of IMing him all night long. These thoughts blurred in her head as she wrote.

_You were every thing I wanted. You were everything I wanted. But I was young, foolish, scared, and insecure. I didn't know what love meant, and I'd be lying if I told you that I knew what it meant today. I'm still insecure. I'm still scared. I'm still young. But I've also grown. I know we were never meant to be. I could never be what you need. You were what made me feel happy. But I messed up. I need you. But I can never be with you. I am nothing compared to her. Make her happy, please. Give her all your love. Dance with her, laugh with her, spoil her with all your heart. Look into her green eyes and love her. Please take care of her. Please don't hurt her. Let her scream into your ear and let her drag you to the mall. She loves you. As much as I want you to love me, as much as I want in my selfish heart for you to think of me, of the memories we had, I know that I brought this onto myself. I know it was me that did this. I built up walls to protect myself from my insecurities and my fears, and I ended up hurting you. But you shouldn't suffer. Follow your dreams, but please, if you think of me, think of me riding on your BMX, laughing and trusting you. And most importantly, please know that I'm sorry. I love you._

– _Block_

And as much as it pained her, Massie Block crossed out those last three words at the end of her note. Because Massie Block was through hurting people. She was through with her façade and through with building up walls to protect her. Starting with this move to California, the old Massie Block is no more.

_And I'm back for the first time since then:  
I'm standin' on your street,  
An' there's a letter left on your doorstep,  
An' the first thing that you'll read:_

I grabbed my old bike from our garage. I rode slowly it slowly throughout the familiar neighborhoods of Westchester, my note to Derrick in my bag, along with my old iPod. The tears had stopped, but by the time I reached the Harrington estate, they had returned. I wanted so badly to rush into his room and to kiss him. I didn't even care if it was messy or not, I wanted him. But I just stood there, remembering the memories. Then I turned and dropped my note and iPod into his trash can, and rode off. I couldn't hurt him. Not anymore.

_Is: "When you think: Tim McGraw,  
"I hope you think my favorite song"  
Some day you'll turn your radio on,  
I hope it takes you back to that place  
When you think happiness,  
I hope you think: "That little black dress"  
Think of my head on your chest,  
An' my old faded blue jeans  
When you think Tim McGraw,  
I hope you think of me  
Oh, think of me,  
Mmmm_

Sammi Harrington was listening to music, staring out her window, and thinking about her break-up with her boyfriend. She was the one who noticed the petite brunette riding a bike up to her front lawn. She smiled when she saw Massie Block, Derrick's previous girlfriend. Sammi was never fond of Dylan Marvil. She never knew why Derrick had dumped Massie, although she suspected that Derrick still liked Massie. Sammi hoped that Massie was here to see Derrick, or something, but she frowned when she noticed the brunette's tears and sad expression. Her frown grew when she saw Massie throwing away something. Sammi dropped her iPod touch and ran down the steps, hoping to catch up with Massie, but when she reached her lawn, the brunette was gone. Grimacing, Sammi reached into her trash can and pulled out the note and iPod. After reading the note, she glanced at the one song in the iPod – Akon's _Sorry, Blame it on Me_, and cried. Cried because of the relationship Massie and her little brother were going through. Cried because both teens felt that neither was enough for each other. Cried because she couldn't do anything to help Massie or Derrick. But most of all, Samantha Harrington cried because Victoria Harrington knew what they were going through. And all she could do was hope that Derrick thought of Massie, just like how she thought of Harris Fisher.

_You said the way my blue eyes shined,  
Put those Georgia stars to shame that night  
I said: "That's a lie"_

Later that night, I, Massie Allison Block, was approximately 3,000 miles up Westchester, heading for California. I didn't care about anything except for the picture in my hands; which I was careful not to ruin. Looking at the picture, my mind was flooded with memories. His cute smile and puppy-dog eyes. His muscular body. His sweet but mischievous voice. _I can't take this anymore. I'm such a monster_, I thought, slipping the picture into my carry-on bag. It fell into place inside my bag, along with some old dried-up wildflowers – the flowers Derrick had given to me in Lake Placid – and my old 'M' pin. I cried silently, wishing for the millionth time in my life, that I was anyone but Massie Allison Block. Anyone else but me, the perosn who had to live up to all expectations, the person who had to be perfect - no matter what. Anyone else but an insecure, selfish, scared _bitch_that hurt people. Anyone except for the thirteen year old, amber-eyed brunette who believed that she was the best. Because that was a lie. If anything, Massie Allison Block was far from the best.

But little did she know, that 3,000 miles below her, Sammi Harrington was thinking the same thing, while she watched Dylan Marvil snuggle closer to Derrick while their friends watched a movie. Strangely enough, Derrick seemed uncomfortable as Dylan pulled closer to him. He backed away from her, much to Dylan's and Sammi's surprise. Sammi felt a spark of hope light inside her heart as she watched Derrick tell Dylan to go home. The spark grew as she watched the red-haired, and now red-faced girl stomp her way out. Maybe things _will _change, she smiled. She plopped down next to her little brother and changed the movie entirely - something that normally drove Derrick crazy. But strangely enough, he made no protest. Even stranger, Sammi noticed that Derrick was listening to Taylor Swift's _Tim McGraw_. Sammi smiled. Little did she know that Derrick _was _thinking about a certain amber-eyed brunette. _I'm sorry_, _Massie_, he thought, as Taylor sang. Then he quickly pushed next, only to find Akon's _Sorry, Blame it on Me_ playing in his ears.

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**Review if you want, but PLEASE make it constructive criticism (meaning, no cussing or dissing on MY reviews, please), and please know that no matter what you say, I'm just going to keep on writing. I believe that even if someone doens't like what you did, just continue to do it even if someoen doesn't like it, someone else does, and you'll improve that skill. Plus, if you love it, then DO it because it makes you happy. Everyone should be able to express themselves no matter what.**

**Hope you enjoyed it, I'll post my other fanfics soon, I promise. Thanks for all of your support. :) *mwah!***


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